I have a drs appointment today

& I’m curious to see whats going on, if my body’s making any progress for labor.
I lost my mucus plug a week ago and have been sore and crampy… so I wonder if I’m dilating or anything.

There’s always one pregnant chick that wears a bikini with her bump hanging out



And today I’m that chick.
Sorry, not sorry.

I’m always that chick. I think bikinis look best on women who are preggerz. You rock that bikini you sexy bish!

I really hope

Its just my pregnancy hormones making me crazy.

I try so hard

To stay positive through all of life’s ups and downs. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing, and honestly most days I don’t feel like I’m going to make it through.
I have been very depressed all throughout my last trimester. For a numerous amount of reasons.
Life is what you make of of, but some days its just so hard to make positives out of negatives. It certainly doesn’t help that I’m pregnant, and my hormones are RAGING.
Ever since I was 12, so for about 6 years now, I have been taking Prozac as an anti-depressant. I would just lay around worried sick about nothing, and I didn’t want to go anywhere, or do anything. I even quit gymnastics, which was and still kind of is my passion. Anyways, when I was about 22 weeks my psychiatrist decided it was time to ween off of the Prozac because its not good for the baby during the 3rd trimester. She instead told me to take magnesium, which is a vitamin thought to help naturally with depression and anxiety…its also very good for the baby. She’s very into natural things to help people, but was scared of what might happen if extreme measures weren’t taken. I was a basket case I guess you could say. The magnesium has helped, and so hasn’t speaking positive words and just truly trying to be happy… but I feel like I’m slipping back into my old ways and its the scariest thing in the world.
I’m going to be a mother, I can’t be all depressed… I have another human life to care for, & he doesn’t deserve to have me like this.
Also, my boyfriend and I have been arguing quite a bit lately… about nothing really. He works third shift, and ISNA crab ass all the time and I think that’s why we argue. I mean I’m certainly not going to put up with him being an ass to me.
A lot of the time he goes fishing with his friend all day after work instead of sleeping. I usually don’t hear from him while he’s at work, or when he’s fishing. Its really starting to make me feel like he doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t even make the effort to tell me that he’s okay. I worry so much about him because a few months back he fell asleep behind the wheel. But, I’m starting to not even trust him because he just basically disappears.
& if I say anything to him about how I feel, I’m a nagging bitch.
Like, I really feel like he doesn’t care about me at all anymore. I NEED him to be here for me. I need his love and support..I don’t even feel like we’re together. We don’t live with my parents anymore, so I’m always here alone, and I really feel alone. All the time. He doesn’t seen to care about that either. Some days though, he’s the sweet loving bucky I first met.
Also, it seems as though he’s changed since he started hanging out with his fishing buddy… he treats his girlfriend like dirt, and is just a shitty person.
Every little argument we get in is automatically my fault, and he just packs his shit up and puts it in his truck. He always comes back.. but it makes me feel like he would / could just leave me like that. Basically with nothing, because I’ll be delivering soon & my doctor wants me to rest.
I’m just so confused on what to do, I live him so much and really can’t see myself with out him.
But I don’t deserve the way he has been treating me.
Sometimes I think he’s just lashing out because he’s tired, or because he’s scared about being a daddy. I just don’t know.
It doesn’t help that I’m due in only a month, and I feel like I have a million things that I have to get ready still.

Sorry for all my bullshit guys, I just needed to vent.
I’m sorry to anyone who actually read all of that nonsense. Lol